i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
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