no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
