Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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