hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
