YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Im part way to drunk.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
