I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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