Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
