Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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