think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
