i don't like sucking hair
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
