She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
