No, you can still breathe under the balls.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
