I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
