She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
