Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
