Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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