office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Randomize
