so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Floor bacon is actually really good
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
