Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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