So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
