Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
