after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
