the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
