Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
