so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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