what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
