So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
