Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
