the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
