He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
