i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
