I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
