Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
