I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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