Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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