your thong is hanging out like whoa
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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