I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
