drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
