it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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