there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
