forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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