I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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