wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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