small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
