Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
God I need to hump something, right now.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
