So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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