I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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