Don't make out with my wife yet
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
