I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
My dick has a subreddit
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
