is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
