i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
