Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
His hands were made for my vagina.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
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