It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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